do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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