I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
