her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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