# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
