Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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