If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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