wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize