he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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