dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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