she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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