my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
