On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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