I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
