i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Terrible idea I love it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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