Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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