ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
