ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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