Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
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I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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