Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
