Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
