it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
