I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
