Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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