well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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