wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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