I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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