dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
