Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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