At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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