OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
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We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
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I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"