Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
