last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito