i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*