he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.