Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
