With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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