walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't turn off my feet"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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