omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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