do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
