i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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