I think I died a long time ago.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
