I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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