You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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