There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
