Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
