drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
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You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
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Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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