Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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