I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
