u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
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So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her