Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?