It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"