going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
