Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
