Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
