Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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