just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So here I am, sexting at work.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize