Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
