Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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