Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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